November Project: Question #24
This question was asked by TJ during a recent Skype call
In my own 'spiritual' writing I've had some problems dealing with haters and troublemakers, and I can't really handle it well. It totally gets under my skin and it makes me want to block comments or start over. What do you do to get over that kind of stuff, and why do you think they do it in the first place?
Thanks for the question, TJ.
I hope I'm not being forgetful, but I honestly don't remember having much of a problem with that on the website. There certainly have been incidents, but it has not been terribly mean-spirited.
Those problems mainly arise because of the interpretation of the reader. The writer is certainly involved in there, too, so one can't remove oneself completely. The writer always has some degree of responsibility.
There are certain subjects that invite intense reaction. If you talk about belief, reincarnation, life after death, god, or religion, and you say something contrary to popular belief, prepare yourself, haha. People will come out of the woodwork to tell you why you're wrong. And sometimes you might actually be wrong, so you can't just instantly dismiss anything they say.
As a writer of that kind of material, you should always be questioning yourself anyway. So if you take those comments as new lines of investigation, and you can invite the commenter to share in further exploration, it will only be better for everyone involved.
But sometimes, a troll is a troll is a troll. And our blogs allow us to block anyone we wish. Feel free to exercise that right. :-)
Always remember to be open, but in the end it is your house. If you don't want someone there, feel free to throw them out. Just don't be an asshole about it.
As far as why they do what they do...they're simply asserting their beliefs. They believe something different from what you say. For whatever reason, your words become a threat to who they believe themselves to be. After all, if you point out something within them that destroys a particular belief, you are in effect destroying the person.
When we look out into the world, it is easy to see how this plays out in terrible ways...
Thanks for your question, TJ.
4 comments, since Nove
Yeah, I've noticed your simplicity attracts few "troublemakers". I've not had a lot of trouble either, but occasionally... one never knows. If I write about someones teaching, that can bring out the knives - but when I point out their behavior speaking for the teaching, they usually go quiet. I had an anti-cult guy down my neck on a few posts, like one on the space broadcast of the Beatles "Across the Universe". (It has a "Jai Guru Deva" refrain) And I totally offended someone in Texas on a post saying we have to go beyond just tolerance. It brought a lot of good discussion though.
I like Ruiz in this regard. His 4 Agreements nicely outlines how to take this stuff. Especially the 2nd: "Don’t take anything personally." ;-)
Thanks, Davidya.
I don't want to say I talk them out of it, because that is not my intention. I don't really know what it is. It might be a simple matter of just understanding how we use our words. And through further exploration we tend to come closer. It doesn't mean there is necessarily agreement between two people, but after a few roadblocks, we might at least be able to walk awhile together.
(laughs) Right. I hadn't meant to imply I chase them off. Usually, if they are open to a discussion we can find some common ground. But occasionally, someone chooses to hold a fixed position. Not much real discussion happens then.
Yeah, I know, haha. I didn't mean it in that way.
I think it is easy to tell when they just want to cause trouble. If not that, their inability to move away from whatever their agenda or fixed position happens to be. If I don't feed them, they seem to forage elsewhere. ;-)