I found this bit of writing in an old journal. It is from early 2007, but is not dated.
*****
I have not yet left my house today. There is nothing for me to do outside. I didn’t make a plan for an outside activity. I guess it really doesn’t matter if I went out or stayed in; I wouldn’t know the difference.
Obviously, there is an outside, and an inside...
I am outside, and I feel wind, see trees, and hear birds making beautiful sounds. I am inside, and I see my computer screen, I feel heat from the heater, and I hear the Kitty clock strike three. Another beautiful sound.
It is all the same.
When completely present, one doesn't really know what one is seeing. Freedom is infinitely there, and all time and thought cannot penetrate into that. Attention is absolute, and everything is beautiful. Or as some people are fond of saying, it is as it should be.
Freedom is never tiring, always seeing something new. At every moment, there is great energy. Not in the sense of a stimulant. It is an energy of complete action and awareness. This energy cannot wane, and is present when one merges with reality.
Thought and time cease to exist, and the only thing left is everything.
*****
Thinking on it now, it seems I mostly stayed in the house for the last four years. I recall certain events, but they are shadows more than anything.
I suppose at some point, the plant outgrows the size of the pot.
It is time to reintroduce myself to the world...
4 comments, since Febr
I barely get this. It is like the gurgling of a faraway stream! I wonder why I want this freedom when I don't even know it.
Thanks, a. I am so happy to see you again...
It is a question one must ask in this whole thing, "Why do I want this freedom when I don’t even know it?" But sometimes I wonder...
Takuin never had a choice, you know. He never asked for freedom. He never searched for enlightenment. it is just so puzzling to him...
Why do people struggle so much with this thing?
People maybe grow up conditioned to believe living life is about 'struggle' ... about being consumed by all the 'stresses' of the world.
First I get a comment from 'A', and then a comment from 'BC'...I'm beginning to see a trend here... ;-)
Well, there are many assumptions by people wanting to remain safe within their conditioning, that is for sure. If you ever begin to question, explore, and really look critically at the world around you, there is an assumption that something is wrong with you. You'll become a 'problem' and they'll try everything they can to fit you into the category they believe you fit.
They might say they do this out of love, but they do it out of fear.
Thanks, BC.